Rainbow Frames
A Devotion on Love ❤️
Sex is a gift from our Creator, meant to be shared with love, trust, and care between two people.
During my years in the church, I can count on both hands the number of times I have preached or heard sermons that addressed sex or sexual orientation. Growing up, the message was simply to abstain from sex before marriage. After marriage, sex became a topic discussed among spouses. More often than not, the church said nothing else.
Silence, too, can become a teacher.
Perhaps the church is called to speak about this gift with honesty and grace, rather than leaving such conversations to the world alone.
Every denomination has its founding theologians. Our Lutheran friends point to Martin Luther. We Presbyterians lean upon John Calvin, one of the sixteenth-century Reformers to whom our denomination credits much of our understanding of God.
Calvin writes in his Institutes: “Just as eyes, when dimmed with age or weakness or by some other defect, unless aided by spectacles, discern nothing distinctly, so such is our feebleness: unless Scripture guides us in seeking God, we are immediately confused.”
Calvin challenged Protestants to wear Scripture as the lens through which we see both God and the world. Although Christians share the same lenses (Scripture itself) the frames that hold those lenses are shaped by different experiences, conversations, beliefs, and interpretations.
When we look at Scripture, we may read the same text yet understand it in different ways. As I write this devotion, I am wearing glasses, thankful for the lenses that help me see these words clearly and grateful for the way these written words are continually shaped by God’s living Word.
I also love these glasses because the frames holding them are uniquely mine. They rest on my face, yes, but they also rest upon the stories that formed me: my experiences, my conversations, my beliefs, and my interpretations. And yours, of course, are different. Acknowledging this helps me remember that faithful disciples will differ not only in our understandings of sex or sexual orientation, but also in matters such as money, parenting, immigration, or even something as simple as our favorite coffee shop. We each see through shared lenses of Scripture, yet we wear different frames.
Over the years, I have come to a deep peace affirming individuals who are attracted to someone of the same sex and who desire a committed, covenant relationship with that one beloved person. This peace did not appear overnight. It grew slowly, with prayer and careful listening. It grew through wondering honestly about Scripture, through conversations with God and with trusted people, and through the privilege of sharing life with queer individuals whose faithfulness, love, and courage have expanded my understanding of God’s image in humanity.
Together, these experiences helped me see a little more clearly, much like adjusting the fit of a pair of glasses. Over time, the picture sharpened, and I began to recognize more fully the breadth of God’s mercy and the unwavering depth of God’s love. God is always inviting us toward a love that does not fear difference but is enlarged by it.
There are only a handful of Scripture passages that speak in some way about same-sex relationships. Most of these references do not describe what we understand today as two people seeking a loving, committed partnership.
When people point to the two verses in Leviticus that label certain acts as “abominations,” it is important to remember that these verses sit within a collection of 613 laws. Some of these laws we hold close, such as the Ten Commandments. Others, we tend to pass over, such as the dietary instructions not to eat pork (Deuteronomy 14), not to wear garments woven of both wool and linen (Deuteronomy 22), or the regulations surrounding menstruation (Leviticus 15).
When Jesus was asked which commandment was the greatest, he knew every one of these laws by heart. Yet he summarized them in two: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Deuteronomy 6), and love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19). In doing so, Jesus brought the heart of Scripture into clear focus: love God fully and love people generously.
These two commands still guide us. They shape our words, our actions, our decisions, and even our interpretations of the more difficult passages. Above all, they remind us that every conversation, including this one, must be grounded in love.
Alongside wrestling with the word homosexuality in Scripture, I have also wrestled with other words and topics that Christians have debated for generations, such as divorce, and women in church leadership. Through it all, I have tried to stay in conversation not only with those who think as I do, but also with those who see things differently. These conversations have taken place in churches, in seminary classrooms, and out in the world. What has struck me over the years, whether I am speaking with someone who disapproves of same-sex relationships or someone who affirms them, is that the word love keeps finding its way into the center of the discussion. In the end, love rises to the surface again and again.
The most profound truth I have learned, the one that led me toward affirming and standing alongside the LGBTQIA+ community, has come through the people themselves. Looking back, I can see God’s hand in those relationships, and I am grateful for each one.
My understanding began with a boy I grew up with in elementary school who later, in college, identified as gay. Then, in high school, I worked at Kmart with several college students who were gay, one of whom made my prom dress by hand. As a youth director, I was not surprised when a teenager finally revealed his true identity. I had always seen who he was, and I was grateful when he came to see it himself as well.
Within my own extended family, I have a step-cousin who went to seminary and now serves faithfully as a director of a homeless shelter. She is married to a woman, and together they enjoy a life marked by love and justice.
These are only a few of the individuals I know and love today. Each one has offered me a glimpse of their world, their faith, their hopes, and their challenges. Through them, I have come to understand more deeply why affirming all people, regardless of sexual orientation, is not only an act of compassion but also an act of faithfulness to the God who created us in love.
In the spring of 2008, our family moved to Virginia with a four-month-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old. Life was chaotic, to say the least. Yet in that season of transition, God placed people in our path who helped us feel at home. One of those was Erin LoFiego.
At the time, Erin worked at the daycare where I dropped off our older daughter each morning. Erin greeted us with kindness, taught daily Bible lessons to the children, and would call me whenever I forgot to pack a lunch or an extra set of diapers. Both of our daughters spent their early childhood years in that daycare, which gave them a strong, loving, and social foundation. Along the way, I received the unexpected gift of knowing Erin and calling her my friend.
As life unfolded, Erin moved from childcare into banking, becoming a local branch banker. I have always enjoyed hearing her stories from the bank. People say and do the most surprising things, and she recounts these moments with humor and grace. Mixed in with those lighthearted stories are the weekly challenges: clients trying to cash fraudulent checks, or demanding withdrawals without the proper information or access to the account. Listening to Erin has made me realize how much courage and patience it takes to unlock those bank doors and money vault each morning.
We truly ought to pray for our bankers more often. They carry responsibilities most of us never see, and they continue to show up each day ready to serve their community.
One day, Erin and I sat down at Starbucks and caught up on life. As we talked, she shared how much joy she finds in service. Erin weaves the love of God into everything she does, whether she is traveling on a mission trip to Panama, spending a summer in Guatemala, or interacting with customers in her everyday work. She said:
I remind myself that whatever I do, I look for the mission in it. I am not at the bank to sell. I look at a client’s financial needs and problems, then I offer answers and solutions. I am not doing this to earn points, put money in my pocket, or extend someone’s equity line. My goal is to help them in life, whether they are going through a divorce, buying a home, or returning to school. I have solutions I can share. The client does not have to accept them, but often they find these avenues helpful in their situation.
I have learned that you cannot understand a client’s needs without building a relationship. I take the extra step to treat clients like family. It is good for our community and good for our bank to do meaningful work. I tell myself, “Erin, you are no better than them. Help them. Somebody taught you about money. No one taught them.”
Building relationships is the most important part of my job, and that is what I try to do every day. Once you build that relationship, most people open up, some more than others. The other day, a client came in and said, “I had twenty dollars in my bra yesterday, but now it’s gone!”
As you can tell, customers will say the darndest things, and bankers like Erin welcome them with open arms. Her insight that you cannot understand someone’s needs without building a relationship extends far beyond the doors of a bank. It is a foundational truth for all of life. If we hope to learn, to understand, and to love well, we must form genuine relationships with people.
Along with her good work at the bank, it is a joy to have Erin share her passion for Christ and her love for children at our church, where she serves as our Nursery Director. For nearly ten years, she has passed on the love of Jesus to countless children and families within our walls and throughout our community.
Of all the people I know here in Virginia, I have known Erin the longest. We have been there for each other in all times of transition. She supported me through potty training my oldest daughter with the advice: “April, this weekend, take your daughter to the bathroom every hour.”
I responded, “Every hour!”
Erin calmly responded, “Yes, April, every hour. That is what we do here and what you need to do this weekend.”
In the same way, Erin has been there for my family and me. I have supported her through her divorce and in her next chapter of life with her girlfriend. I can honestly say that Erin is happier now than I have ever seen her. She is deeply loved and loves deeply in a committed relationship. She holds her love for Jesus, for children, and for all things Wizard-of-Oz together, while being one of the funniest and kindest people I know.
My hope is for everyone to be known and loved, to share life with someone, and to experience the gift of sex from our Creator, a gift meant to deepen the love between two people. May the rainbow frames we wear, or notice others wear, help us understand one another through the lens of love.
What has moved people, churches, and nations through disagreement, again and again, has been and will always be love.
Reflection
Take a moment to consider the frames you wear as you see the world. What experiences, beliefs, and conversations shape the way you view others? How might God be inviting you to adjust those frames so you can see more clearly the love, dignity, and goodness in someone different from you?
Think of one person you might try to see through new rainbow frames this week. How could you show them patience, curiosity, or kindness that reflects God’s love? Spend a few minutes in prayer asking God to guide your eyes, your heart, and your hands as you seek to love as Jesus loves.
One way to love all people is to love what they create. Come alongside the LGBTQ+ community and get caught up in the good work they are doing for God in the world.
Continue the conversation by picking up a book and reading words written by beloved children of God like Rev. Mihee Kim-Kort. Mihee is a PC(USA) pastor and is queer. In her book, Outside the Lines, she defines queerness and expands readers’ understanding through her stories and reflections on Scripture. Almost like sitting across from a dear friend, she naturally weaves sexual experiences into every chapter, naming both her own life experiences and the Scripture stories that have often been hidden or silenced.
Possibly one of the best youth devotionals I have ever read, Come and See offers excellent historical and scriptural context while challenging readers to live out their faith in both word and action. Shannon T. L. Kearns, an ordained priest and transgender man, provides beautiful introductions that connect each section of scripture to God’s overarching love story. Though written for youth, readers of all ages will grow in faith, especially those who missed hearing God’s story as a child or who need to encounter these stories again through a lens of justice and compassion.
Take care, and find joy in serving others in the week ahead.
Serve and Love Well,
Rev. April H. Cranford
What a lovely message, especially in the world today where it seems that many lenses are only able to view the world in one way which limits relationships rather than enlarging the circle of love.
Thank you, April. I have a dear friend I plan to share your message with.